I used to be pro-life. Just like my good Christian upbringing, I used to lean into the belief that abortion was wrong and women who had them suffered.
That is until I worked in Mental Health.
One of my positions was at a housing facility for single parents.
I got promoted into a position with moms and kids 0-5. I was tasked with working with the moms and young children on attachment and related mental health concerns that impact the kids as they develop. What I saw the most, was under-resourced and stressed-out moms who needed more help and were doing the best that they could.
One particular case stands out to me. A young black mom in her early 20s, with no support from family and 2 kids under 5, became pregnant with her 3rd. I remember the conversations of the social workers as they advised and subsequently took her to get an abortion.
She was stressed and overwhelmed. She struggled with her mental health and caring for herself and her kids. She had no support.
As much as I staunchly opposed the abortion, I saw the impact. Was adoption an option? I suppose. This family was on the edge and subject to the mom’s fragile mental health and resolve to rise herself and her family out of poverty. Which is no easy task. And then to expect her to carry a pregnancy full-term to then give the baby up for adoption or to raise it herself, felt almost cruel.
I sat with the heaviness of it for years.
Abortion procedures are not pretty. There are so many reasons why people choose that route— survival, desperation, hope, relief, and on and on.
Abortion also has connections to racist roots as Planned Parenthood has historically been known to encourage and push abortions in communities of color to limit the numbers of Black and Brown kids.
All of this is heavy. I don’t have any answers.
If you are feeling all the feels, I am with you. I am here to sit with you across the campfire to get warm and to figure out what to do next.